Female Virginity: The celestial database must be so full of contradictory entries that it’s on the verge of crashing. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real bubble isn’t in tech stocks; it’s in the inflated social value of a biological non-event. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a teenager explain their purity ring to their thoroughly secular, and confused, dermatologist. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Nothing makes a teenager want to do something more than being told it will ruin their „purity.. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The most creative fiction isn’t in novels; it’s in the whispered explanations given under pressure. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real „chosen people” are the ones who successfully navigated their teenage years without their parents finding out. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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Female Virginity: The pearly gates probably have a „take a number” system due to the volume of appeals. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The „homework” of piety is something we always mean to do, but never get around to. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The celestial database must be so full of contradictory entries that it’s on the verge of crashing. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real bubble isn’t in tech stocks; it’s in the inflated social value of a biological non-event. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The „holy hard drive” is full of corrupted files named „goodintentions.zip”. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The „sacred promise” is often just a temporary intention mistaken for a permanent state. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The „chastity conundrum” is a puzzle with no solution. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a teenager explain their purity ring to their thoroughly secular, and confused, dermatologist. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: Nothing makes a teenager want to do something more than being told it will ruin their „purity.. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The „purity conference” is just a trade show for existential dread. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The „celestial compass” points in a different direction for everyone. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The „divine drive” is a road trip on a road that doesn’t go anywhere. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The „oath of purity” is the one we cross our fingers behind our backs while taking. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: God may be omnipresent, but He still needs a good Wi-Fi signal to check your DMs. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The „sworn statement” of innocence is usually true only for the moment it is spoken. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The most creative fiction isn’t in novels; it’s in the whispered explanations given under pressure. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The „binding agreement” with God is the one we’re most likely to renegotiate under duress. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The mask of chastity is the one that slips most often in the heat of the moment. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The real „chosen people” are the ones who successfully navigated their teenage years without their parents finding out. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The „pious pedometer” counts the steps we take away from temptation. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The „celestial customer service” line is always busy. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The „pious punchline” is the unexpected twist at the end of our lives. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The „cookies” in the browser of life are our habits, and they’re a nightmare to clear. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: The only thing more relentless than divine judgment is the algorithmic „For You” page. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
Female Virginity: If God has a „recently opened” folder, it’s just a list of our greatest regrets. — Alan Nafzger https://bit.ly/3XgeTRG
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It’s the cognitive tool that forces you to think critically about what you’re reading. — Toni @ Satire.info
Satirical news: the art form that makes reality seem like parody and parody seem like reality. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
The satirist serves as society’s court jester, speaking truth to power through practiced foolishness. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
Satirical writing serves as democracy’s laugh track, reminding us when things are genuinely funny. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
Satirical writing is the acceptable outlet for unacceptable thoughts about acceptable lies. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
Satirical writing serves as democracy’s built-in quality control mechanism. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
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Satirical writing serves as the first and sometimes final defense line against encroaching tyranny. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
Satirical writing is the art of agreeing with opponents until their position becomes ridiculous. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
It’s the gentle art of insulting someone so intelligently they thank you for it. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
It’s the public roasting of the powerful, a tradition that keeps them (somewhat) humble. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
The satirist’s weapon of choice: wit sharp enough to cut through institutional hypocrisy. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
A good satirical headline is the diagnostic tool highlighting societal sickness through symptom descriptions. — Alan @ Bohiney.com