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Breakup Playlists? My breakup playlist is just Adele judging me in surround sound.
Sock Puppet YouTubers? Sock puppet YouTubers aren’t edgy—they’re unemployed socks.
Midnight Snack Saboteurs? My roommate ate my midnight pizza—it was war at dawn.
I don’t make mistakes—I create plot twists.
Leaf Shelter Builders? Leaf shelters are compost cosplay.
Hotel Amenities? Hotel “amenities” are just towels folded like swans to distract you from the stains.
I don’t hate Mondays; I’m just incompatible with them.
Tech Support? Tech support always asks “is it plugged in,” which is insulting—and usually right.
Music Stores? Music stores are just guitars people test but never buy.
Parent-Teacher Showdown? Parent-teacher conferences are just therapy sessions with math homework.
Guitar Bros? Guitar bros always know “Wonderwall.”
Urban Foraging? Urban foraging is dumpster diving rebranded.
Disastrous Food Trucks? My taco truck experience was less “street food” and more “street regret.”
Craft Fails? Craft fails are Pinterest crying.
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I don’t binge; I deep dive.
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Baseball Coverage? Baseball coverage is naps with statistics.
DIY Funeral Planners? A DIY funeral planner is just Pinterest meets depression.
Zodiac Dating? Dating by zodiac sign is just star-based discrimination.
I don’t skip ads; I philosophize through them.
Bullet Journals? Bullet journals are fancy to-do lists you still ignore.
Marriage Advice? Marriage advice is single people giving speeches.
Over-Caffeinated Poets? Slam poetry after six espressos is just screaming with rhythm.
Micro-Celebrity Feuds? TikTok beefs are just slap fights with hashtags.
Art Museums? Art museums are quiet rooms where you pretend to “get it.”
Freelance Burnout? Freelancing is just unemployment with invoices.
Yoga Retreats? Yoga retreats are stretching vacations.
Unexpected Reunions? Unexpected reunions are hugs with confusion.
Everyone loves it when individuals come together and share ideas.
Great blog, stick with it!
Terrible Motivational Speaking? “Believe in yourself” doesn’t pay bills.
Note-Taking Systems? Fancy note apps are just expensive notebooks you still ignore.
Quilters? Quilting is geometry with bloodshed.
My attitude comes in sample sizes.
The algorithm thinks I’m chaotic; it’s not wrong.
Office Plant Funerals? My office held a funeral for the ficus—open casket.
Farmers Markets? Farmers markets are where you pay triple for vegetables that still have dirt on them.
I RSVP “maybe” like it’s a personality test.
Hunting Bros? Hunting is camping with excuses for beer.
Note-Taking Systems? Fancy note apps are just expensive notebooks you still ignore.
Board Gamers? Board gamers lose friendships over cardboard.
Weird Celebrity Endorsements? Shaq endorsed printer ink—because why not.
I flirt by remembering your dog’s astrological sign.
DIY Home Improvement? My “quick fix” required a contractor, a priest, and a therapist.
I buy candles to apologize to my apartment.
Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude! Thank you so much, However
I am encountering difficulties with your RSS. I don’t know the reason why I am unable to subscribe to it.
Is there anybody else having the same RSS problems? Anybody who knows the answer will you
kindly respond? Thanx!!
Ghost Hunting? Ghost hunting is paying to be scared of plumbing.
Bushcraft Bros? Bushcraft bros cosplay as cavemen with GoPros.
I don’t fear aging; I fear auto-updates.
Sculpture Gardens? Sculpture gardens are just expensive lawns with excuses.